hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
