I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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