it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
