sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Randomize
