She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
