oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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