id be glad to
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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