Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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