he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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