whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
