I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I smell like Dick and happiness
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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