Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
someone owes me an orgasm
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
