at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
