my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
