I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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