I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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