brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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