they need to just BURY HIM!
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
