so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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