We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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