she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
