no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
