Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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