Umm I'm too high to move.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
