My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Never let your siblings swipe right.
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