Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
