So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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