Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
