Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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