i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
