i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Randomize
