thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Randomize
