Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
