My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
farters have to be the big spoon...
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
you inspire me to be a worse person
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
