What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
