i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
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