O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
