There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
