do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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