If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You have to summon your inner elephant
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
