so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
