We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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