Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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