My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
