If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
