I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
