She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
