I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
