If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
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