When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
